Dating for the disabiled
Disability Horizons reader Simon Sansome, who met his wife online, debates the question.The new year is well under way and with each new year comes a number of rituals.Your date may end up having a lot more questions than they may have done before.They’re not going to know the extent to which your disability affects you, or understand much about it.They will include losing weight (and probably putting it back on within a few weeks), stopping smoking (and then starting again on the first day back at work), and trying to find ‘the one’, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.So what’s the best way to do this in our modern world? So, you duly upload your images and life story, hoping that a special someone – and not someone wanting to just send pictures of their naked body parts – will get in contact.
Putting it out there With online dating it is easy to hide something.You can manipulate photos, tell fantastic stories to impress people and just outright lie.But with Facebook and other social media sites, that doesn’t stop someone from searching online to make sure you’re not a raving lunatic who runs down the street naked in their mother’s pink, flowerily dressing gown.Would that be classed as lying to the person if you didn’t mention it until then?
If, for example, you turned up to your first date in a wheelchair, your date is likely to be surprised – and possibly annoyed – after it not having been mentioned while chatting online.
Being a wheelchair user myself, I have had many conversations with people who simply don’t get disabilities.